The Next Step

  Well friends, God’s plan certainly is unexpected most of the time, isn't it? It can be difficult to follow along when we don't see the big picture. Realizing that following God's direction means that He is in control and He wants me to trust Him and walk by faith is something I must continually fight for. 

             My time in Africa was a beautiful time of growth in my relationship with the Lord, and it also was a time of searching for my next step. At the core of who I am, I have always felt God’s gifting and calling in counseling/mentoring others. I sense God’s pleasure most when I am able to come alongside others, dive into the messes of life with them, and offer hope and encouragement found in God’s word. But I have struggled with how to do this vocationally. In the past few years, God has opened my eyes to see that ministry is not just a vocation, it is a lifestyle. Every encounter we have is an opportunity to love someone well through the grace of Jesus Christ. This realization opened up a world of options to fulfill what the Lord has placed on my heart. It also made me realize that I could pursue ministry through a secular vocation.

              Through my three years working at Olive Garden, in spite of many personal challenges, I have seen God’s working through me in various relationships I have had there. I have been able to come alongside my coworkers and speak truth and hope and encouragement into their lives. Because of this job, I have seen my own sin much more clearly and have gained an understanding and an empathy for others that I have never experienced before. God has taught me so much about loving others through my three years there, and it has continued to broaden my options as far as pursuing this calling. 

             My dad often says, “You can’t steer a parked car,” meaning, when you begin to walk, God will guide your steps in the direction He wants. When I returned from Tanzania, I felt God leading me toward cosmetology school as a platform for ministry. I think it is a great way to build relationships and have meaningful conversations with others. I began pursuing this – I got a job at a salon as a receptionist in order to explore the industry further. I also began to look into different venues to receive my cosmetology education – whether going to a school or completing an apprenticeship. Through my work there this summer, God has shown me that it is better to invest my time and training in my primary passion (coming alongside others) rather than in something secondary (cosmetology).

 This led me to a discouraging standstill. The journey I have been on to explore different options and venues for ministry has been long and frustrating. The two facts that I cannot seem to consolidate is that 1) I know what God has created me to do and 2) I need some way to make a living. I have considered going back to Olive Garden full time, but I know it is an environment that is not healthy for my relationship with the Lord, or my community with other believers. 

I have been struggling through the idea of the meaning in my work. I have a desire for the work I do with my hands and my mind to be meaningful. So, I have been asking the Lord, “Where would You have me go? Am I supposed to work a job where I don’t see meaning, and pursue this calling through my relationships?” Through this questioning I have realized that there is a freedom in vocational ministry that is harder to come by in ministry through a secular vocation.

I recently spoke with a friend of mine who works for our church. I was telling her about my job situation and my frustration with not knowing what my next step should be. She asked if I had considered an internship with the church, with an emphasis in counseling. The option has entered my mind briefly, and this conversation encouraged me to look into it further. 

After many conversations and lots of prayers, I have been accepted as an intern with Valley Bible Church. Our church has developed this internship in order to “equip men and women through combining theological formation, apprenticeship and life together in the local church.”  It also may include a 4-5 month evangelistic training in Honduras.

Besides interning 20-25 hours a week, I will continue to work part time as well. I am excited that through all this training, I will be serving the church while gaining further clarity about how to best use my gifts.

I have learned through a close friend in campus ministry the importance of having a group of people committed to walking this journey with me. While I need to raise $1500 a month for the next year, and will definitely need continual prayer, I am trusting that the Lord will surround me with people who are willing to interact with me through this process. Many of you have already been on this journey with me through my time in Tanzania. Your prayer, financial support, and constant encouragement were incredibly valuable to me. Will you pray whether God would have you be part of my team? 

I would love to hear from you, and I am excited to share more about this journey with you soon!

Because poetry at midnight is always a good idea...

A lover. A deep feeler. An aware soul.

A lover whose love has often not been received. A deep feeler, who often gets lost in her own depths and is found with treasure few have understood. An aware soul, whose awareness has caused an unquenchable ache.

Why, O Lord, does pain demand to be felt? The ache of the awareness that this world is not what you intended leaves us feeling empty and battered. Fully alive in the worst way. As the haunt of tears stings the eyes – another slash to the soul. A heaviness, too great to bear, too attached to remove.

And yet, a whisper in the dark night of the soul. The smallest of sparks. So faint, yet on the backdrop of dark silence, it demands to be heard. So brief, yet in the surrounding depths, it is all that exists. The whisper of a word. The Word. The only Word who brings light and hope to an unending darkness and an unquenchable ache.

This Word -- the inventor of depth, the innovator of the soul. This Word, who has trenched deeper into the depths and further into the darkness than I will ever need endure.

But the darkness could not overcome this Word.

In His victory over it, He comes to me and whispers, “See, my beloved, in whom I delight….I am making all things new.”

Oh, to see the day when the Word made Flesh will wipe every tear, and remove every sin, and we will be made new, completed, whole…to dwell with Him forever.

For those with me on the journey...

My Dear Friends and Supporters,

            Well, it has been about two months since my return from Africa – months filled with much processing and transition – and I wanted to write and give you an update on what God has been doing in my life since January.

            My trip was incredibly life giving, and I am thankful beyond words for your support, which enabled me to experience life in a new and transforming way. I hope you had a chance to read my blog while I was gone, but if you didn’t, the address is julielynnebehal.blogspot.com, and has some more details about things I was involved in, and things I was learning while in Tanzania.

            One of my biggest questions before leaving was “Is it possible to have joy in my relationship with God?” Of course, I knew the right answer was yes, but I was at a place in life where I didn’t believe it to be true. By God’s grace, he had to strip away all the things I was clinging to, halfway across the world, in order to show me more of himself. And He proved Himself to be faithful once again. Seeing the joy in the faces and hearts of the Orphans at City of Hope in spite of their poverty and their incredibly difficult circumstances was just one of the things God used to break my ungrateful spirit and show me the joy and the life I can have in Him.

            Another question I was struggling with before I left was concerning which direction God was leading me as far as missions and ministry. The trajectory of my life has always been pointed toward full time, vocational ministry. However, in the past few years, God has opened my eyes to see that ministry is not just a vocation, it is a lifestyle. Every encounter we have is an opportunity to love someone well through the grace of Jesus Christ. However, this realization opened up a world of options to fulfill what the Lord has placed on my heart.  

Experiencing full time mission work first hand, and having countless conversations with missionaries and those more involved in secular work led me to much more clarity in this area.  I feel confident in God’s leading me (for now) toward ministry through a job in the secular world. An option I am praying about and considering is going to cosmetology school. Since returning to Africa, I have gotten a new job at a hair salon, and I see the interactions between the stylists and their clients. It is all about building relationships and having conversations. I think the Lord has gifted me in these two areas, and I am excited to see how he could use me in this environment to lead others to His feet, for His glory.

My time in Africa will always be a very important part of the work God is doing in my life. I am more blessed than I can say to have people who love me well and are faithful to the Lord in enabling His work to happen. As I enter into this new phase of life, I am overcome by His faithfulness to provide and redeem, and overwhelmed by the joy He has shown me IS possible through life with Him. Thank you so much for joining me in this process! If anyone would like to hear more about my trip or about what God has been doing in me, I would love to get together and talk about it more!

By His grace and in His joy,

Julie Behal

Diana's Post

Written by Diana

It is 6:00am. I have awakened each morning while being here to the 100 orphans that live in the children’s home singing for morning devotions. Their voices are strong and harmonious. It is a beautiful sound and I can only imagine the joy the Lord feels as He hears these little ones sing to Him.

            The children that come to live here are from situations that are hard to imagine. Some truly have no one who can or will care for them. It is the desire of TCOH to become their family. They provide a loving atmosphere by the adults that care for the children daily and love them with God’s love. I love one of the songs they often sing at church on Sunday. It says, “I have a Father that never, never fails me, Jesus is my Father that never, never fails me.” I can only begin to imagine how powerful and comforting those words are to them as they begin to understand that truth deep in their little hearts.

            The children are encouraged to have dreams for their future. If they did not have TCOH teaching them that there is a different way to live than the despair of their parents, it would be another generation of the same hopelessness.

            A few weeks ago we had a big celebration for the 5-year anniversary of TCOH. It is amazing to see how much God has done here in 5 short years. Yes, a lot of buildings have been built to house the children, a large school for the day students and boarders, a hospital that now has nurses and is seeing patients, but the most important work being done here is hard to measure. It is the hope given to these children that changes their lives forever. True lasting transformation of the heart that can only be accomplished by our supernatural God. With that hope in God they are taught and trained in different skills that give them the opportunity to be in their culture as a productive people and earn a living. Dr. Chacha knows each of these children’s stories and is very involved in helping the older ones get as much education as is fitting for their skills and desires. Many of the boys are trained in labor skills, and one of the girls is now in nursing school and very proud of what she has accomplished.

            Yesterday evening I went to visit with the girls as they were finishing dinner, doing their laundry and having some free time. They are being taught English and the older ones can speak it pretty well but they are quite shy and it is hard to have a conversation. This is probably the most frustrating part of being here. I so often wish I knew what they were thinking.

            But I had a rewarding experience last evening. I was with one of the older girls and she began pointing to parts of my body and speaking Kiswahili. I realized she was trying to teach me the names of different parts in her language. It was fun. We did this for a while. When it was time for me to go I looked at her and said, “You are a good teacher. You could be a teacher some day.” She gave me the biggest smile and looked so proud. Maybe my few little words will give her a brighter future and hope.

Journey.

Hello friends! It’s been a while since I’ve written you all an update J Well as of Friday we have officially been here four weeks! I can’t believe it’s been a month. It feels like it has been much longer! So many things about life here are so different than home; I think learning so many new things makes it seem like we’ve been here longer than we have.

I was planning on describing what a typical day looks like, but it’s not always that consistent. We typically have breakfast around 7:30 (we each take turns cooking), which is usually eggs or uji porridge (made from millet—It’s actually pretty good!), or pancakes, toast, etc. and some kind of fruit. I am in tropical fruit heaven!

Dee and Janet arrived last week to begin their dental class, so I have been attending that with them to assist in whatever they need and just be an extra set of hands. They are teaching the doctor and nurses from the clinic up the road, which is part of City of Hope’s ministry. Their other student works with the boys from the children’s home as a mentor. There are five students total and they are learning how to examine teeth, and give pain-free fillings! Next week they will start learning extractions. Giving them this knowledge is going to be a huge blessing to the local community, and they teach the importance of praying with each of their patients. How awesome that they are free to do that!

The clinic is about a 10 minute walk, and we end up walking it a few times a day. We go up at 8:30, come back at 10 for “chai” which is their daily tea break. I definitely think this routine should be implemented everywhere. Taking an hour off in the morning to drink tea? Yes please. We take this hour to do devotions as a group – the dental class, Ty and Joi, Diana, Nancy, and a few others who live at the mission house. This has been a really great time of fellowship and sharing and worship. We have these hymn books that are in English and Swahili, so everyday we do one song in each language! Cross-cultural worship is pretty amazing.

We come back for lunch around 1, and then aim to end the day around 5, although sometimes it’s a bit earlier. It’s been nice to take walks, or to sit on the front porch in the cool evening and just enjoy each other. There is an abundant opportunity for conversation in a slower-paced life.

Being here is helping me learn and appreciate how much life is a process. I am used to living in a world that is always in a hurry and rushing around, but trying to do that here is like a puppy chasing its tail, but not as amusing. I keep hearing the phrase “hurry up and wait.”

Although it’s an adjustment and can be exhausting, learning to slow down to a different pace of life has helped me to notice and appreciate many things that I easily take for granted at home. For example, laundry and cooking both take much more time and effort than at home. I have been challenged though, to see these processes as opportunities to relate with others, rather than get frustrated at how difficult it is, or to just focus on how it’s not what I’m used to. Sitting out back in the sun with a washtub scrubbing clothes with one or a few other people can be a great opportunity for conversation. Same with cooking – making everything from scratch takes much longer than I’m used to (and tastes so much better!), but again, it has been an exercise in learning to appreciate the process.

Hanging Laundry on the Line

Making Tortillas!

I think God ordered life that way on purpose. I am constantly being reminded that the end goal isn’t the point, it’s the journey to get there that changes you. It isn’t, “God has saved me, now I get to go to heaven,” (Although, how awesome that we do?), It’s “God has saved me, now I get to spend the rest of my life journeying in deep relationship with Him, until one day I will see His face and spend eternity with Him.” The process is invaluable.

Learning Eucharisteo

Psalm 66:5, 16: “Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works on man’s behalf! Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.”

What a full few weeks it has been! Today marks day 19 since we left, and I can’t believe it’s only been that long. It seems that time always moves slower when you’re in a new environment, and that certainly has proved true here. We’ve spent the last few weeks getting settled and organized and working our way to a daily routine. It was difficult at first, with everything new and unfamiliar, with more rugged circumstances than we have at home. It was hard to not long for familiarity and comfort for the first few days.

            I also was sick for a few days last week, which was challenging because of being in an unfamiliar environment, and because I was unable to do anything and felt helpless. But as someone reminded me later, God always knows what we need, and He used the few days I was out of commission to really begin a work in my heart as I read and spent time talking to Him.

            I have been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, and it has really impacted me. In the book, the author shares her life, her traumas and struggles, and describes the journey God took her on to begin to see Him and commune with Him more deeply. A friend challenged her to write down one thousand things that God has given as gifts, and as she began to record them, she began to really see the world around her. She calls it Eucharisteo, “to give thanks” – “the root word is charis, meaning grace…but it also holds its derivative, the Greek word chara, meaning ‘joy.’” Thanksgiving, grace, and joy, all wrapped up in one word. This is the challenge God has placed on me.

            As I laid in bed sick, reading about being thankful and having joy, I realized that I don’t want to think about things being more familiar or comfortable—that is not why I came here. I want to see God and I want to experience His grace and I want His joy – I want to be fully alive and fully here.

            I am not naturally bent toward gratefulness. I am selfish and I see the empty half of the glass more often than the full. But I am being drawn everyday to write down my thanks to God. From the breeze blowing through my window, to baby giggles, to redemption through Jesus Christ – I am challenged to see everything as his grace, and to thank him for it, and discover an incredible joy. And there is so much around me in this place to thank Him for! When you begin looking for things to be thankful for, it opens your eyes to see God everywhere, and to see all the grace He pours out on us in every moment – even the very hard is His grace whether we see it or not, because He is a good God in whom we can trust.

            I am just beginning this process. Most days I forget to be looking, or I forget to write anything down. And that’s okay. We’re all in process. But the little bit of joy I have experienced in attempting this experiment is what our souls are created for and it is addicting. I want to see more. More of God and more of joy. More of his grace in every moment.

Toto, We're Not in Kansas Anymore!

1/14/14 

       As I sit on my lower bunk, blue mosquito net swaying slightly beside me, listening to the drum beats of an African dance party outside my window, I am struck by how incredibly thankful I am to be here.
       This crazy journey started Friday, January 10th at 10am when the Hopkins (Ty and Joi, their three kids, True, Wren and Psalter), Diana and I left Blacksburg and headed up to the Dulles airport. After wandering around the National Air and Space Museum for a bit to stretch our legs, meeting up with Nancy (our other travel buddy), and checking 17 pieces of luggage (not including carry-ons and backpacks) we made it to our first flight! This flight was to Paris and it was on the biggest plane I have ever seen—a double-decker airbus! So cool. Paris gave us a few troubles and wrong directions, but we made it to our gate with minutes to spare! After another long flight, we made it to Nairobi. (For more details on the trip, check out Ty and Joi’s blog!)
         We spent the first few days at a Mission Guest House just outside of town. It was so beautiful! It was also really helpful to have some time to rest and get adjusted to the time difference. On Monday morning we left the mission house and headed to the airport to take an MAF flight to a town just inside the Kenyan border (Migori). It was so much fun to get to take an MAF flight again (even though it made me a bit queasy)—it brought back a lot of fun memories from growing up with a missionary pilot dad :) particularly because the pilot’s daughter was able to join us for the flight—just for the chance to fly with her dad, which I was able to do a few times growing up.
          A ride from City of Hope was waiting for us in Migori to take us across the border into Tanzania (about 15 min) and then another 45 minutes to City of Hope. Africa is SO beautiful! I loved seeing all the trees, and the locals going about their days, many of the women balancing large bags and baskets so perfectly on their heads, all the dust being kicked up from the dirt roads. There is a side of me that comes alive in third world cultures that is easily and often lost in the US. It has been incredibly special to reconnect with that part of myself. It makes me so happy to watch Wren and True fit so comfortably into this culture which they have spent part of their very young lives; I smile knowing they are growing up as Missionary Kids and how special this time will always be to them.
           As we pulled up to City of Hope I could see all the children in their uniforms standing together, dancing and clapping as they sang a special welcome song for us. After their song they all rushed toward us with huge smiles on their faces, eager to ask us our names, hold our hands and give us hugs. These children are so sweet and welcoming. They offer their love eagerly, without even knowing who you are. They radiate delight and joy, and it makes me eager to learn how to love and experience joy like that; that comes from deep within.
         Everything about life is completely different than it was a week ago, and I am soaking it all in. This morning I enjoyed waking up before the sun without an alarm – watching the sun bring everything alive, listening to the birds chirp and the children sing praise songs—it was the perfect way to start my first full day in the place I will call home for the next three months. It was fun (and exhausting) to experience a bit of African life—washing dishes and cleaning out drawers using large wash bowls outside in the hot African sun (I forgot sunscreen on the back of my neck—whoops!).
           I am eager to see what God has planned for my time here—both the joys and the struggles, the fun things and the hard things. A friend told me they were praying Ephesians 3:20 for my trip, and I have adopted that passage as my own prayer for this time as well: “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:16-21 (NIV).